Mr. Bean's first out of town adventure

We are all packed and ready to get out of the hot city! This is our first little vacation with the little guy. Actually my parents are picking up just me and Mr. Bean tomorrow and driving us up to New Hampshire, where we'll meet up also with my sister and her kids. J will meet us up there next week. I'm hoping that we will survive the long car ride. He has only been in a car twice - once home from the hospital and once for another doctor's visit uptown when he was just a week old. Both times in taxis, and for less than 20 minutes. So this will definitely be new.

I know that it is hot all over the country right now, but we had temps of 104 in Central Park today - ugh! I wouldn't have gone out except I had finally managed to re-schedule that hair appointment that I had to cancel back in June. So I left the two men at home and ventured out to get my hair cut for the first time since last August! I'm so happy to finally have a style to my hair again. It was also the first time I'd been on the subway since April - it's crazy how insular my life has become. And I haven't left the city since we went to California for Christmas, so this will be a much needed vacation.

Off to bed - we leave early in the morning....

Three months!

I can't believe that the little guy is already 3 months old. Time really flies on the one hand, but I also feel like he has always been a part of my life. It's amazing how he just fits right in.

There is lots going on. He is so much more interactive, he is "talking" and smiling and laughing a lot. He has discovered his hand, and will watch it coming towards his mouth until he crosses his eyes. That freaks me out!

We are working on sleeping. I didn't realize there was so much involved in sleeping, and that he was going to have to learn how to do it! Mostly he is a very good sleeper, and he goes for very long periods at night. In fact, on Friday night he slept for 11 hours straight, without even eating! I couldn't believe it. Since then he has been back to waking up at 5 for a feed, and then again around 7, so I don't think we can count on the 11 hour thing. He goes right down for a morning nap very easily, but he struggles with the afternoon naps. This afternoon he has already had two short naps and is now dozing off in his swing again as I write. I should pick him up and put him in his crib for his nap, but I'm afraid he will get all fussy again. He is still too young for "sleep training", with the crying, so I figure I'll just let him sleep when he wants to sleep and hopefully the naps will sort themselves out. If not, we'll do the training when he is closer to 6 months. I am planning to take him on several trips before then, so I think that any progress we make will be messed up by our travels anyway. (Ok, I just went and put him down in his crib - we'll see if that lasts...)


I really also can't believe that the summer is halfway over, and am so glad that I am taking the fall semester off. I can't imagine having to leave my baby any time soon, though I know that many moms don't have even as much time as I've had already. I never thought I'd say it, but having this little guy makes me think that being a stay-at-home mom wouldn't be the end of the world. But we'll see if I still feel that way in a few more months.

Ok, he's crying again. Another nap in the crib foiled...

Reminders

For those of you who think that I'm just living in my happy little baby bubble and don't ever stop to think about everything that we have been through over the past several years, here is a post for you. Of course I think about it, all the time. I still pop onto IVFC pretty regularly to keep up with you guys over there, though I can't really bring myself to read too much about people who are actively cycling. It is too hard to remember all that pain. Unless I already have a "relationship" with someone on the boards, I just can't get involved in a new story - there are just too many women out there who are still struggling and of course I feel for all of them, but I just can't go there. It is still too painful for me.

They say that the sense of smell is the most evocative of past memories, and I couldn't agree more. The other day I needed to disinfect a blister on my foot, so I got out the alcohol. As soon as I opened the bottle, the smell was overwhelming. All of a sudden I was standing in the kitchen of our previous apartment with all my meds and syringes spread out on the counter in front of me, wiping my belly with an alcohol swab, preparing to give myself the first, second, third, fourth, or even fifth shot of the day. It was such a powerful blast of memory, it almost made me cry.

Also the other day, I was cutting up a nice fresh pineapple for a fruit salad. That also brought me back to several transfers when I decided that I would try eating pineapple to help with implantation (even the last transfer, which was successful - but most likely because of nice healthy donor eggs and nothing to do with eating pineapple). This time I got to cut out the core and throw it away, rather than including a bit of the chewy, fibrous part in every bite. And in fact, there is still some of that pineapple in the fridge right now - I think I'll go have some.