Dancing bean

We had the ultrasound this morning and were very happy to see the little bean dancing around, moving its arms and legs - very active! So J. in particular is feeling more relaxed (because he was super-stressed). I'm happy too of course, but I wasn't feeling as nervous as he was beforehand. So the baby is measuring exactly on track at 10 weeks (which we'll be on Friday). And we did see the small empty sac from Baby B, but it is shrinking.

So the next step is the first ob appointment on Friday - I'm excited about that.

It seems all the concerts we've been going to have had an effect, and we are growing a dancing machine (or possibly a drummer...)

Weaning off the meds

I have been slowly cutting down on my estrogen (Vivelle patches and Estrace) and progesterone (Endometrin) supplementation. On Saturday I cut down to just one Vivelle patch every other day, and had been doing one Endometrin at night, as well as one Estrace. Today my estradiol is 583 and my progesterone is 24.06. The nurse said I could stop the Endometrin and Estrace tonight, just doing one Vivelle patch every other day. I'm nervous about stopping the progesterone altogether, but I guess I have to trust her. It's just scary! I will get checked again on Wednesday, though I have to go to the slow lab again and won't get the results until Thursday. That is because the slow lab is in the same building as the ultrasound place and we go for another one of those on Wednesday as well. We are both really nervous. J is particularly stressed out. I think we are going to have to get one of those home doppler machines so he can hear the heartbeat whenever he is freaking out. I wish he didn't feel such anxiety and I hope he will be able to relax more as time goes by. But neither of us can still really believe this is happening to us.

I've been super busy at work and really should be grading bad freshman papers as well as preparing a lecture for tomorrow...so here I go...I guess. I'll report back on Wednesday after the ultrasound. I'm curious as to what we will see of Baby B. It makes me a little sad to think about it.

All shook up

It is concert season in NYC, and last night J and I took the little bean to its first musical event. We saw Vampire Weekend at Radio City Musical Hall, with Beach House opening up for them. It was a great show, but really loud and also incredibly "vibrating". First of all, I was happy to go see a show in a place with nice comfy velvet seats, where we sat comfortably throughout the opening act. But of course as soon as Vampire Weekend came on stage, everyone jumped to their feet and stayed that way for the duration. I can't say I'm surprised. But I was a little tired half way through and ended up sitting down a bit, so I could just hear everything but see absolutely nothing. Whether sitting or standing, the vibration of the bass and drums was pulsing through my whole body and I couldn't help wondering if it was bothersome to Mr. Bean (as we started calling him or her). I hope we didn't do any damage. Next weekend it is Pavement in Central Park and then Gorillaz at Madison Square Garden, followed by Nick Lowe and finally Antony and the Johnsons rounding out the month of October...whew! We're going to grow a little rock star in there.

A womb of one's own

Ok, not to be crass or anything, but I thought that title was just too clever to pass up. (Although there's probably a blog out there with that name...)
Anyway, that is what Baby A is going to have. Baby B has not grown much at all since last week, and its heartbeat is almost non-existent. That was sad for us to see, but also somewhat bittersweet. I think this will be the best thing for all of us, Baby A included, in the long run. I was starting to freak out thinking about how hard it would be to take care of two babies. And even more so, I was worried about the complications and possibly losing both babies.
I hope no one thinks I'm callous, but I do think this was for the best Although I will always remember the little flicker that was Baby B's heartbeat. It was with us for 7 weeks and now is selflessly making room for Baby A to flourish.

Some symptoms

So I think I'm starting to get some nausea, though it feels almost more like indigestion. But in addition to just having a generally upset tummy, I've been getting little waves of nausea. Nothing major, but I'm preparing myself.

Another symptom I've noticed in the last day is a heightened sense of smell, which is not really a good thing when walking around New York City. Nothing like a nice urine-soaked sidewalk baking in the sun. And those roasting bags of garbage. But right now one of my cats is sitting next to me on the couch cleaning herself, and I'm particularly aware that her breath really doesn't smell very good.

It makes sense that these two symptoms would surface around the same time. I'm curious to see how they develop.

Follow up on ultrasound

I spoke with my new nurse today (love her already - so nice and funny!) about my blood work and ultrasound yesterday. (There seems to be a bit of a lag getting the information from here to there.) Anyway, she said everything looks good and doesn't seem too worried about Baby B being a little smaller. She did say I should go for another ultrasound next week to monitor the growth though.

And the heartbeat info was good news. Baby A was at 127 and Baby B at 110. They want to see over 100, so both are good. But again, Baby B was a little lower, which I guess makes sense if it is a little behind. We won't hold it against him/her.

So now we have to wait until next week for more news - at least it won't be the two weeks I was initially expecting.

Things are starting to sink in a bit and I'm really trying not to freak out about the twin thing. I've handled a lot of stress in the past 3 years, I guess I can handle the more happy kind of stress of two babies, right?

Oh, and the funny thing that my nurse said that totally made me laugh...I said that the two sacs were right next to each other down near the bottom, and that I wasn't sure if that was good or not because I didn't really know where they were supposed to be. She quickly responded in a very matter-of-fact way, "The uterus. As long as they are in the uterus you are doing great. Anywhere else, and we've got a problem." That totally cracked me up, to the point of tears in my eyes. So I guess she's right - we are doing great.

Ultrasound update

Well, I couldn't keep myself from logging on at work to update. We saw two sacs, two fetal poles and TWO heartbeats. Holy cow! I can't believe this might have actually worked. It feels so surreal, and I'm definitely more emotional than I was after the betas. Today is 6w5d and Baby A is measuring at 6w2d, which seems good to me. Baby B seems a little behind, at 5w6d...I don't know how big of a deal that is. And I don't know what the heart rate was for either, so hopefully will find out later. After the tech left the room, J and I just hugged each other and got really teary. Then we walked to the subway together, got on the same train downtown until he had to get off and leave me to ride the rest of the way. This is going to be a very strange day. Things are finally beginning to sink in a little, but I'm still so very scared.

Feeling nervous

J and I are off for our first ultrasound in just a bit. I have to get blood drawn first, so will be sitting around a while waiting for that. I have never been more nervous, not even for our beta because I already had an idea that things would go well based on the home tests. Today we have no clue what we are going to see. It is six weeks, five days gestational age today, so we should definitely see a sac, a fetal pole (or two of each????) and hopefully will see a heartbeat as well. I'm freaking out and I think J is freaking out even more than I am. Probably won't be able to update until this evening.

Belly armed

Sorry I've dropped off the face of the earth. I've had a busy week with orientation for new students, my trip out of town, and the first few days of school. It has been great to keep my mind off of other things. I'm pretty much in a holding pattern, just waiting for the ultrasound a week from today.

But I did get my Bell.y Arm.our blanket today. I can't remember if I mentioned ordering it here or not, but I just had to get one. I'm really not sure if the radiation or wireless signal going to my laptop is detrimental to whatever may be growing inside me, but I certainly wasn't going to risk it. As you know, I'm pretty much a computer junkie, and that takes the form of my laptop sitting right in my, well, lap. I figured better safe than sorry.

In other news, it is hot here. Really, really hot. That last wave of summer heat that I just can't wait to end. It is September and I'm ready for some fall weather! My commute is long enough without also having to endure this hot, sticky stuff. Tomorrow should be a little better, but not much. Then we are going to get hit with some rain to cool things down. I'm looking forward to a nice cooler weekend, to relax and get back to unpacking some more boxes, as well as getting more settled in here in the new apartment.

So, as you can see, things are relatively uneventful here. I'll update when I have more to report.