Wednesday, September 15, 2010

A womb of one's own

Ok, not to be crass or anything, but I thought that title was just too clever to pass up. (Although there's probably a blog out there with that name...)
Anyway, that is what Baby A is going to have. Baby B has not grown much at all since last week, and its heartbeat is almost non-existent. That was sad for us to see, but also somewhat bittersweet. I think this will be the best thing for all of us, Baby A included, in the long run. I was starting to freak out thinking about how hard it would be to take care of two babies. And even more so, I was worried about the complications and possibly losing both babies.
I hope no one thinks I'm callous, but I do think this was for the best Although I will always remember the little flicker that was Baby B's heartbeat. It was with us for 7 weeks and now is selflessly making room for Baby A to flourish.

15 comments:

  1. Cassie, I don't think that you are callous at all. In a non-A.R.T. scenario, you may have never even known there was a second baby. You just would have delivered one healthy baby. Like you said, this leaves more room for baby A to grow and be healthy. You would have joyfully welcomed both babies, but one is also wonderful.
    And, I love the title of your post and am glad you didn't hold back even though you thought it sounded obvious.

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  2. You are not callous. I am sorry for this bittersweet moment, but so relieved that Baby A continues to progress on track.

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  3. You are SOO not callous. I know for a fact I would have identical feelings. But nonetheless it is never pleasant to know that Baby B is fading away...selfless act indeed to make room for it's sister or brother.

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  4. You have such a great attitude, I am impressed. Thinking of you,

    T

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  5. Really glad to hear you positive attitude through this time! You are a true inspiration to other couples and women going through this challenging journey. All the best :)

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  6. You are NOT callous. I am so happy to hear that Baby A is doing well. Big hugs to you.

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  7. {{{Cassie}}}, you are not callous at all. I'm pretty sure I'd feel exactly the same. I'm so happy that Baby A is doing very well. He/she will have a very special little angel looking out for him/her.

    T.

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  8. So sorry to hear about Baby B. May God continue to watch over Baby A throughout this journey ahead.

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  9. This is not callous, Cassie. This is nature, doing what it needs to do. I think you are right to feel that this will be for the best. And I have to say, I am happy to hear how well Baby A is doing -a very good sign!

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  10. Sounds as though nature and bodies and mysterious things we can't begin to understand are conspiring for everyone's best interests; I knock on wood that this is and remains true. No, not callous. Viewing your situation with balanced, positive eyes. Sending hugs, because I get that there's some bitter with that sweet.

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  11. Definitely not callous!!! I'm so glad to hear that Baby A is looking great, and I am happy that you are processing this latest news okay. Hugs to you!!!

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  12. I'm sorry for your loss but agree with your assessment.

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  13. Your thoughts are right where I've been when I think through the what if scenarios of DE. I see it as Baby B giving you and Baby A a gift. Baby A can thrive and while there's still plenty to think and worry about, you can have some comfort knowing that Baby B won't have to struggle and make it harder for you and Baby A.

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  14. I am with Augusta - if it wasn't for the wonder of step by step baby making you would be clueless, but still, given that you did know, you feelings are just fine. In fact - you are pretty unbelievable in terms of getting your head around it all.

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  15. Just caught up on your blog. I'm so frustrated that I can't add your feed to my reader, I never know when you update, so have to check once in awhile. I am so sorry about Baby B, that is sad but I completely understand the bittersweet part. I think I would feel exactly as you do. Hugs

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