I'm freaking out a little. I don't really know why, but am just feeling overwhelmed, like everything is moving so fast. That is what I wanted, but still, it's freaky. Yesterday I got an email from my nurse that my donor was set to get her period "any minute", and that I should pay Freedom for her birth control pills as soon as they called me. They did call, and had spoken to the donor and knew that she had indeed gotten her period and therefore needed the pills by the weekend. How weird is that, that the pharmacist at Freedom Fertility knows who my donor is and spoke to her right before speaking to me. Anyway, this is moving fast. I never imagined that she would get her period so soon. In fact, it's almost a little too soon. I don't know if we'll be able to stretch things out long enough to get to mid-August, which is what I prefer. I know I can't be that picky, but we are supposed to be moving during the first week of August. Not that we have found a place to live. Not that we have even started looking. I'm feeling overwhelmed about the apartment search and we may just end up going with a broker, even though that will cost us several thousands of dollars more. Money we don't even really have.
So today I have a nervous tummy and have not been feeling so good. I don't know why I'm so freaked out. Also, I ordered the shipping kit to do the SCSA testing for sperm fragmentation through their lab in South Dakota. It's pretty cool because you can gather the sample at home and freeze it yourself and then ship it. No need to go to a local lab. We decided to go this route, even though we have a frozen sample out at CCRM and they could test it there, because we want to keep that as our back-up sample for the coming cycle. I'm freaking out about the sperm fragmentation test too, because what if we find out that there is a problem with J's sperm and maybe we don't need a donor after all?
So now I'm just waiting for my nurse to email me a tentative calendar. She knows the donor's Day 1, and my estimated next period arrival, so she should be able to make up a calendar by now, to at least give us a general idea.
So those are my worries for today! I should be going to yoga in just a bit, but my tummy doesn't feel up to it. But I am going to go into the city this afternoon to meet a friend in the park and catch up. It will be good to get out of the house and out of my head for a while!
I know you don't want to hear this, but I am so jealous that you can just pop over to the city to go to the park! Oh man!!!
ReplyDeleteAs far as the sperm frag goes--my understanding was that if a man has high sperm fragmentation they just prescribe massive antioxidants. Why can't your hubs just go ahead and take them? We didn't do the test, just took the antioxidants--all his counts improved dramatically anyway but we never knew a thing about fragmentation. I do think you need to take them a while to work so I'd get started right away. That way all your bases are covered. Just my two cents, so take it for what it's worth :)
Well, I already ordered and paid for the test - it will be here on Monday. But my real dilemma would be then wondering if I still had a chance with my eggs after all - you know, the second guessing and all that.
ReplyDeleteYes, it's fun to be able to get to the park, but if we move back to the Upper West Side, it will be just a few blocks away! I guess that should motivate me to start house-hunting.
Wow, that is moving really fast! I don't blame you at all for feeling overwhelmed and nervous! I had thoughts of starting our IVF process this cycle and just doing the Long Lupron protocol, but I thought I would feel overwhelmed too. Hopefully you'll reach some kind of comfort level with everything and things will work out smoothly with the move and everything. Have a good weekend!
ReplyDeleteI think for me it will be nerve-wracking if we did a transfer next month or 6 months from now...totally getting your vibes. Get the frag done as you'd regret it and can put the mind at ease. Otherwise...probably just cold feet...kinda like a bride or groom just before a wedding?? Probably not far from the truth!
ReplyDeleteEnjoy your park time! You are moving fast, but hey - it is better than not moving at all. Bright sides, right? :)
ReplyDeleteAnd I'm with LC - I am jealous of you heading into NYC. I used to live in the East Village, in my younger life, and still miss it!
I know it may be sooner than you think, but I think you will be happy to just start. The anticipation and the waiting was killing me. With both my donors they were a few weeks from getting their periods, so I had to wait again.
ReplyDeleteI do think that she could stay on BCP longer to delay the cycle by a week or something.
Cassie, is the sperm frag tests a part of their one-day work up sperm testing? My newly aquired hypochondriac self is curious if such testing was done? I remember them talking about it but your blog mention about the testing made me curious...
ReplyDeleteLisainSK - It was not part of our ODWU testing. I wasn't sure, so asked my nurse if it was in our records, and it was not. I think this is something that is not routinely done, you have to ask for it, or they have to have some reason to suspect a sperm problem. In our case, we discovered on our first IVF that only the half they did ICSI on fertilized. Of course, this was still explained to me as being an egg problem - older eggs are tougher to penetrate. But after we kept making all these embryos that don't fizzle out until after Day 3 (which is when the sperm dna kicks in...), I started to wonder. Of course I know I'm probably being paranoid myself, but I just don't like how it's always my eggs that are being blamed.
ReplyDeleteHi Cassie - just wanted to say that I'm thinking of you and wish you all the best with your cycle. I'm sure the anxiety is hightened because you found your donor so fast...but, as you said, you found one that fits, so why not take the plunge. I hope the frag testing goes well for DH...I'm curious about that, too. That will be a good piece of information to have so you are comfortable moving forward. I look forward to following up on your progress. Good luck!!!
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